Cross River born broadcast personality turned
actress, Kate Obiang who was formerly married to ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire’ presenter, Frank Edoho divulged a
lot in this interview. To read the full interview click HERE. I just took out
the part she talked about her marriage, kids and estranged hubby…
And
how are they taking the whole divorce issue?
We
are not really divorced. It’s still a work-in-progress kind of thing but we are
taking it well. When its time for him to see the children, he does and when its
time to return them, he does. On my part, I have carried the children along and
make them understand they are not stained because of it. I wouldn’t want them
to develop a complex because of it. We didn’t design for these things to happen
but they do. Its like people who have lost their parents, they didn’t plan for
it but they have to move on. I watch them and I think they are doing pretty
okay especially because we talk about it every time there is a reason to.
You mentioned that you aren’t really
divorced. Does that suggest possibility of reconciliation?
No, it doesn’t. We just started the process
but there isn’t any hope for reconciliation. We know we would always be in each
other’s lives because of the children, so we have to be civil. When the
children are getting married for example, we have to hide our differences and
make it work.
What if he (Frank) came back, would
you consider it?
No. Three years have gone by. It will be a
whole entire process of knowing somebody all over again and I don’t have the
energy to do that. We’ve let it burn and I don’t think he will do that.
Do you sometimes miss him?
He had such a great sense of humor. I don’t
know if he still does. His sense of music too, being a radio presenter, and we
used to exchange thoughts on things regarding that, but otherwise, I don’t miss
him in that nostalgic way of…It’s a part of my life I have come to terms with.
I am a solution oriented person. He was part of my life for more than 10 years
(dated for four years and got married for 7 years).
Looking back at everything, do you
wish you never got separated?
No, I think Frank and I should not have
gotten married in the first place. We should just have been friends because he
was an awesome friend. While I was dating someone else and he had to go back to
his country, he (Frank) was there all through and I had known him all the while
he was in the University of Calabar and we started our career together. I think
we shouldn’t have pushed it to marriage and just stayed as friends.
Any regrets about that?
No. I have three lovely kids to show for it
and of course, every thing happens for a reason and a purpose. They can only
make us better or stronger people and it has done so for me. I have grown from
what went wrong.
What is usually the cause of the
fight?
I think it impatience, anger and not knowing
how to deal with issue in the now, so you react before you think. It goes like,
‘huh, how dare you say this to me…is that what you will say?’ I can’t remember
any one in particular, it has been long now, I have moved on and it’s not a
thing that can happen to me again but I always say no matter what, a man should
not raise his hands on a woman. A woman should also not goad a man too much. It
takes nothing from the man who walks away because once he hits a woman, he
starts to think it is justifiable. Unfortunately, we are in a society where we
have friends that will give you thumbs up for doing that. A man should be
calmer and not react on the now.
Are you making efforts to ensure that
your son isn’t wrongly influenced by this?
I have a son and I talk to him all the time.
I let him know he must be there to protect his sister. They should look at him
and feel safe with him and he knows that. The girls also push him and I caution
them, so it’s a balance.
Were you hit by the rumors of his
recent marriage?
I didn’t want to believe he was because we
are still married (legally). We are not divorced, so I didn’t see how that was
possible and didn’t loose sleep over it. I’m not asking him not to go on with
his life but things should be done properly. We are separated for three years
and now in the divorce process. If he found happiness and love, then I’m happy
for him.
Will you be trying your hands on
marriage again?
You just never know.
If you would, what kind of man would he
be?
You come to a point in your life where you
can’t afford to do things out of adrenaline but with great thought. It would be
a more mature person, someone who is calm and has a fine sense of how life
should be. Someone who is mature, wise and seen life and the ways of the world
and knows what he is doing at every time.
When you think about all that has
happened, does it bring tears to your eyes?
No, I feel a sense of disappointment instead
especially now when the children come home with questions that I need a man to
answer, if he (their father) were around. For example, someone to be there for
my son at a time when he is writing his common entrance examination. It’s a
feeling of disappointment, but you know, we have to rise above them and you go
on.
What was your reaction the very first
time it happened?
I’m like these things happen in marriages but
we think of reconciliation and getting families involved. It is your first
trial in marriage and nobody gives a guideline about how things are going to
be.
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