As obvious as certain situations might be sometimes, people still end up clueless. We tend to need some sort of indication that our mind isn’t playing tricks on us. In relationships, we need wake- up calls once in a while. No one wants to get stuck in a partnership where love has gone sour. It’s common knowledge that a high percentage of break- ups occur during the holidays- Valentine’s Day inclusive. So, aside from the good old honest, one- on- one convos that might lead to a break- up, here are five other ways to know you are wasting your love on the wrong person.
I’m principally using the male gender as the heart- breaker; for obvious reasons (Sorry, guys!).
When he just doesn’t show up on Valentine’s Day:
If your partner goes AWOL on Valentine’s Day, it’s best you take the hint. He might come up with reasons to explain away his absence. Ranging from not being in town, to working overtime or having car issues, the absurdity of the excuses know no bounds. If he’s not laying dead in a ditch somewhere, there is no reason why he should not be there on this day. A guy that really wants to be with you on Valentine’s will do everything possible to make that happen. (Skype and video conferencing all night is an option; for those long- distance type relationships. Yes, all night.) Bottom- line: If he does not show on Valentine’s, just move on.
When he has to leave after a short stay:
Hearing that dreaded sentence: “Honey, I have to leave right now. Something came up.” What could be urgent enough on Valentine’s Day night to warrant a quick dash away from pre-planned celebrations? Work is most likely done for the day, and there are breaks in family emergencies on Valentine’s. What other excuse could he come up with to ruin your day? None, except if he disrespects you enough to tell you he needs to be with his girl friend. Then and only then should you realise that the two- weekend spa treatment gift- package he gave you earlier was a farewell present. Weep and move on.
When he makes a mountain out of a mole- hill:
Of all days to be mushy and chummy, Valentine’s is it. All differences between lovers, arguments and causes for disagreements are swept under the carpet for this day. As soon as the next day comes, the bickering and name- calling can resume. So, why then would he bring- up unnecessary drama once he comes to pick you for dinner? Even while you do your utmost to avoid a fight; employing methods that would hitherto calm him down and he’s still agitated? Then he threatens to storm out and you plead with him, confessing love to get him to stay and he says: “I can’t even look at you right now?” You stare in horror as he makes good his threat, before dinner is over. You positively have been dumped. Move on.
When his buddies have him on Valentine’s:
This option might sound ridiculous but it happens all the time. Granted he would tell you where he is, but investigate well, he is out with his single, unattached buddies having a pick of ladies. He would say his pal Phil is celebrating one thing or the other, so he shouldn’t be missing at the party. Ask him if he’d come get you so you all can celebrate together with Phil? Hear what he says. “Oh it’s an all- men’s party. My other friends don’t even have their girlfriends here.” Really? You choose Phil over your girlfriend on Valentine’s? If you are not dating a gay guy, you have obviously been dumped.
When he comes empty- handed:
Believe me, this is a huge sign that you are not worth much to him. No one is talking about expensive, mind- blowing gifts here. No matter how financially- strapped a man is, it’s something to boast about if he still gets his partner a present on that day. If for nothing it signifies undying commitment and gives off this “not- even- lack- of- money- can- stop- us feeling.” And then he actually shows up empty- handed? Why did he come in the first place? To have his physical needs met (food and sex) and walk away satiated in the morning? Men are proud beings and for him not to get you a gift on Valentine’s only shows you one thing: He does not care what you think of him. That is the lowest any man can go. So would you continue staying with a man like that?